One of the hardest pills to swallow is when you have to admit that you are at fault. It’s when you are in the middle of an argument, you suddenly realise you’re wrong and you now need to admit it. It’s when your boss points out some indisputable flaws in your work ethic and asks you whether you think their observation is true. It’s when your sin is brought to light by God and you now need to humble yourself before him in prayer, seeking forgiveness and turning from your misdeeds. All these situations involve an unpleasant truth about yourself being pointed out to you.
On the one hand, as Christians, we know what the right path is in these situations. But on the other hand, we often feel a strong desire to defend ourselves. If you’re anything like me, your natural inclination would be to do so immediately: consider these conversations that may or may not have taken place in my life:
1. Other person: Nelson, you’re very much mistaken.
Me (even though I know I’ve just argued a hopeless point that, on not-very-sincere reflection, I know is wrong): No, I’m not.
2. Other person: Nelson, your feedback toward that person lacked tact and now they’re upset.
Me (in my not-so-humble and inexperienced non-position): Well, it was the truth. They just need to harden up.
(NB: I didn’t deny their point; I just side-stepped it with weak justification—weak enough for my conscience, anyway.)
3. Other person: Nelson, you’re raising your voice at me.
Me: NO, I’m NOT!
You get the picture. We often find the truth about ourselves confronting and hard to grapple with, and we defend ourselves because we would rather live with an idealised self-conception of ourselves (i.e., a lie!) than with what might be the unfortunate truth.
In comparison, Christians are exhorted to be people of the truth:
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. (1 Cor 13:6)
For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth). (Eph 5:8-9)
Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. (Eph 4:15)1
If this is the case—if we are to be people of the truth—what gives? Why do we have so much trouble admitting the hard truths about ourselves? Shouldn’t our reaction be one of rejoicing, if we are people of love (1 Cor 13:6)?
Blindness to the truth
All the sample situations above involve instances where someone has pointed out something about us that are undeniably and uncomfortably true. But if these critiques of us are true, what stops us from seeing them that way and admitting the truth of them in the first place? Where is our blindness coming from?
The answer is quite simple: we remain in a world of sin in bodies of sinful flesh while we await the resurrection that comes with Christ on the final day. If we are still prone to sin, then what Romans 1 says still affects us:
The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of people, who suppress the truth by their wickedness … They exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen. (Rom 1:18, 25; emphasis mine)
Humanity’s relationship with the truth was flawed from the outset: we weren’t concerned to know it from the get-go. The travesty is that the truth—the most glorious truth that undergirds all others, the one we chose to give up first—was God himself. In our fallen, sinful state, forgetting God means forgetting that we are not little gods ourselves who are innately worthy of respect and honour, because we are such good people.
Praise be to God, then, that these words of Jesus ring true to us, his saved people: “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31b-32; emphasis mine.) In him, we are shown the truth about God and thereby gain proper knowledge about ourselves.
But showing us the truth was not all Jesus achieved; he also provided a way for us to continue in that knowledge of the truth through the Holy Spirit: “But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth” (John 16:13; emphasis mine). Jesus has given us the Spirit to live in us and guide us into all truth. He is the antidote to our sinful self, which would rather live in self-deception, and the antidote to our sinful minds, which cannot accept the truth, even when it stares us in the face.
I don’t know about you, but I need the Spirit in me every day. Without his sight-giving power, I could neither see the truth about God, nor have any real way of truly knowing myself, nor would I have the desire or the ability to seek out the truth in others’ critiques of me. Without him, I would have little motivation to wonder, “Is what this person is saying to me true?” and to consider the facts at hand with level-headedness. Without him, I would have even less motivation to concede my faults to others. However, this is the way we are told to live in Christ: his Spirit strengthens us to live the life of truth.
Living truthful lives
As Christians, living lives of truth is important. That’s why we need to be thinking about how the call to be in truth affects how we live and act as Christians. What does such a life look like? How do we pursue truth in our lives faithfully? Here are four practical and biblical tips.
1. Love the truth and rejoice in it
Firstly, we need to love the truth and rejoice in it. As we saw in 1 Corinthians 13:6, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth” (emphasis mine). What is the greatest truth we have been given if not God’s word itself? Indeed, as John 17:17 says, “Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth”. The words God spoke to us concerning his Son Jesus Christ are the sweet words of salvation; the truth about creation, God and ourselves; and the truth about what to expect in the future. We are to rejoice in this word because to us, it is inexpressibly beautiful, abundantly life-giving and supremely comforting. It’s like a breath of fresh air in a dank, stagnant place. You try and describe it: can you see your joy for this word growing even now?
What’s more, as the Gospel of John says, this true word does no less than sanctify us: God uses the truth to make us holy and more like our Lord Jesus. As his word points our wayward hearts and minds back to the truth, it is bound to hurt at points. It is not pleasant to be shown our faults and weaknesses. But if we know God’s love and are growing in it, we should take even less pleasure in evil.
As we see the truth of ourselves and hold the truth of God’s gospel in our hands as a salve, we will count it as joy when God uses that truth to mould and shape us. We need to hold firm to that joy, and learn to love the truth more and more, because of the effect it has in us. We want to grow to a point that when our faults are revealed by God’s word, our first reaction is one of rejoicing, even in the midst of pain.
This means we must cherish his word by centring our lives on it, both by ourselves and collectively as God’s people. Let God’s word dwell richly in you, day by day, whether in print, in song or in the spoken word, and whether you are alone or gathered with his people.
2. Remember that you are the worst sinner in the room
Secondly, remember that you are the worst sinner in the room. This is an excellent attitude to have in any given situation, because it forces you to be humble and to see yourself in the light of reality—the light of truth, if you will.
This is the attitude Paul has for himself:
Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. (1 Tim 1:15-16)
Now, this may or may not have been strictly true of Paul.2 But this is the point: we can’t make those sorts of judgements, and an attitude that tries to compare and contrast ourselves with others is both futile and deadly. It is a path that can lead in one of two equally awful ways: either towards envy-filled pride or conceit, or towards stifling despair. Paul knew this and so refused to take on a comparison mindset. Instead, he chose to cultivate a mind that habitually considered his own sin first, learning more and more as time went on how deep it went. He chose to view himself as the worst sinner because, while contemplating his own brokenness, it became increasingly true to his mind, and because it forced him to be humble.
If we adopt a similar attitude, when we are told something hard to hear about ourselves, or when we make a mistake, we won’t jump instantly to our own defence. We will already be in a position to consider the truth of the situation with a level head, and will be able to admit wrong where we have committed it.
3. Trust the critiques of friends and be a friend by speaking the truth in love
Thirdly, trust the critiques of friends and be a friend by speaking the truth in love. You may be familiar with Proverbs 27:6: “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses”. It’s hard because it goes both ways: not only do we need to be ready to trust critiques from our brothers and sisters with humility and without shooting them down, we also need to be a friend to them, able to say hard words when they need to be said. This is “speaking the truth in love” (Eph 4:15).
Speaking the truth in love is hard for two reasons: firstly, we fear rejection. I can’t count the number of times I’ve missed an opportunity to critique in love out of fear of a brother or sister rejecting me. But if we love the truth, love our brother or sister, and long to see them grow in faith, we need to be prepared to critique others with humility and kindness. We need to love the truth and love them more than we love the status quo or our personal relational comfort with them.
Secondly, speaking the truth in love is hard because it’s often hard to know all the facts about a person and get our critiques right. We cannot see everything to know whether what we say is entirely true. But this is where I think Ephesians 4:15 is helpful: when Paul exhorts the Ephesians to “speak the truth in love”, he means for them to speak God’s word to one another. The Ephesians were to do this because, by holding firm to the truth and constantly reminding each other of it, they would mature in Christ and would not be led astray by false teaching and other deceits. If we hold firm to what we already know is true, then we already have the truth to aid to our brothers and sisters when we see some part of their struggle with sin and brokenness.
4. Keep the word of truth on your lips
Finally, keep the word of truth on your lips, This follows on from my previous points: if our hearts are filled with joy in the truth, and if we are told to speak the truth in love, how can we not, then, be sharers of this truth—not only with our fellow Christians, but also with those who do not yet know it? We speak readily of the things that bring us joy; if the word of truth brings us joy, why wouldn’t we speak of it? The world labours under the weight of a multitude of self-made deceptions—the foremost being either that there is no God or that man-made gods are God; if we consider this, how can we not be what God has commanded us—lights in this dark world that shine forth both the truth and the way to true knowledge of God?
This might sound too grand and too broad—a little farfetched and a little too big to a western heart influenced by a society that believes in relative truth. “Each to their own,” we might think. But if you believe the gospel and you follow the Lord Jesus Christ, you’d better believe this: the world needs the word of truth just as much as you do. Will you share it?
Let me finish by bringing us back to John 8:32: “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free”. In Christ, we have been freed from our slavery to sin and from our giving up the truth of God for a lie. In Christ, we have been freed by the truth he has revealed and continues to reveal to us. Let us love the truth and seek it out throughout our lives as we await his kingdom—as we look forward to the day when everything will be brought to light and truth will prevail.
Nelson has completed his first year at Moore College.
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Endnotes
1 Emphasis mine in each of these verses.
2 Not that we could tell; only God can really make judgements about who is better or worse!
